Making the Most of the Time we Have Left
by Katie1995
Summary: One-Shot  Maybe a 2 shot...  ALL HUMAN! Esme has some devastating news for Carlisle, and now they have to come to terms with what little time they have left together. Rated T for sensitive issues. Please R&R.
1. Making the Most of Time the we Have Left

**(A/N – I do not own the characters in or **_**Twilight **_**in any way, all rights are reserved to Stephanie Meyers.)**

**Making the Most of the Time we Have Left.**

**Carlisle's P.O.V. ****(ALL HUMAN!)**

I closed the door quietly, and paced my doctor's coat messily over the cloak hanger on the back of it as the door closed again. I walked as quickly as I could to the bedroom me and my wife, Esme, shared together.

The house was quiet from my usually quarrelling teenagers, but me being the concerned man I was, I stuck my head into the living room to see if my children were home, which the shouldn't be. I was slightly shocked to find, Jasper and Rosalie sitting quietly together, whispering to each other. Edward was sat numbly at his piano, his fingers wandering over the ivory keys absentmindedly as he stared into space. Alice, with the same expression as her twin brother, Edward, sat in the arm chair next to the unlit fire, and finally, Emmett, sat keeling before her, Alice's hand in his bear like paw.

Tears sprang to my eyes and I clutched the door frame for support, my Children's eyes finally finding their ever weakening Father figure.

"Dad, you're home already?" Rosalie asked, tucking a curl behind her ear.

Breathing in, I answered, "I couldn't bear not knowing." And as the words left my mouth, Jasper's head popped up and I saw clearly, the red rings around his eyes. "That's not the point, though," I continued. "Why are you home?"

Silence ensued again before Jasper cleared his throat and answered me. "Mum rang, said for us to come home."

I closed my eyes and breathed in unevenly. "Oh god," I breathed, "Not this."

I tried so hard to stop myself from crying in front of my children, but now, in this moment, I couldn't keep the charade up for much longer. I hunched over as a strangled cry left my mouth, the first tears falling down my cheeks as I wept uncontrollably at the door way. I clutched the wood in desperation, but no support was found until small hands caught me.

"Don't cry, Carlisle. Please, for me?"

I shook my head in defiance, finally landing on the floor, Esme landed next to me, her hands running through my hair.

"Look at me, please."

My wife tore my hands away from my face by my wrists, and I was made to stare her in her in the eye.

"The children need you, now. I need you, now. Please?"

I could feel the suppressed sobs at the back of my throat trying to escape my closed mouth. I pushed them back, however, keeping my thoughts on my wife and my wife only.

Our children stared hopelessly at us, tears rolling down their own pale cheeks. Their eyes like mine looked hollow.

"What happened," I managed to finally gasp. "The news?"

Esme stood up quickly, her eyes diverting from my own. I knew then the news was what we dreaded to here.

"It's terminal," she whispered, almost inaudibly. "The cancer is terminal."

Our children gasped and Alice threw herself into her big brother's arms, crying into his shoulder. Edward, the oldest of all of them sat unfeeling, his hand frozen above the C sharp he had just played due to the slip his hand had suffered.

My wife breathed out before walking away, not once looking back.

This isn't what Esme was supposed to be saying. She was meant to say that the cancer was gone, that she was in remission. Not this, _not this!_

Rosalie stuck her hand out before me. "Get up, you useless lump," she tried to joke, but couldn't. "Your wife needs you."

I took her hand, running up that stairs after her and into our bedroom like I had originally planned to do.

Closing the door, my grief caught up with me. "No!" I roared.

Esme didn't flinch, didn't move. Instead, she sat there, unseeing, numb.

"I was prepared for it, Carlisle," she whispered back against my shouting tone. "I knew it could mean... this." Her voice broke, and she dropped her head into her hands.

But my wife had the right to be angry, upset, hurt. She had suffered so much already. When the cancer hit, the doctors recommended a mastectomy which she agreed to, in hope it would stop the cancer spreading after the chemotherapy and radiotherapy failed, but it didn't work... again. And the cancer spread from her breast to her lungs.

"Hold me?" Esme whimpered, suddenly, her hair falling over her shoulders as she tilted her head over her shoulder to look at me from her arm chair.

And as I allowed myself to let her sink into my arms, I realised another surge of sorrow was coursing through my veins.

The hair that fell from her shoulders was not my wife's own hair, it was a wig she wore daily because of the resulting hair loss chemotherapy caused. Taking it off, I placed it next to us not looking. I gently played with her remaining, thinning caramel coloured curls, weaving them between my fingers as Esme wetted the material of my shirt with her tears.

"Don't cry," I reminded her, softly, kissing her head.

Snorting feebly, she replied, "Because I'm going to beat it?"

I clenched her hand extremely tightly in mine as she repeated my last words I had said to her before I had left for work this morning.

"But I'm not!" Esme hissed, her teeth clenching together. "The doctors performed a CAT scan, Carlisle. It's spread to my brain."

I let my tears spill silently as I rocked her slowly in my arms.

"Miracles can happen," I fought back, the words twisting around my teeth.

"Not anymore, darling, not anymore."

Still rocking her, Esme sighed, her tears now stemmed.

"How long?" I choked, brokenly.

My shirt gathered in her fists as she replied, "Three months."

_God give us longer, _I prayed, my eyes looking up to the skies outside the window.

"Three months without further treatment," she admitted to my torment.

"God, no, Esme. Why would you do it?"

A smile ghosted across her lips, before she replied, a grimace now present. "It hurts, Carlisle. The treatment hurts me. I can't stand it anymore. I'm skin and bones as you hold me. I throw up continuously, bile replacing the sickness when there's nothing left to bring up."

"But you'll be in immense pain, Esme."

"I know," she replied. "But it's bearable as long as I have my family with me."

Pausing, she looked up at me, her green eyes now absent of their usual sparkle. Esme stroked my cheek with the back of her hand, and I realised she finally looked somewhat peaceful.

"I want to die here, with you," she stated, her voice, again, failing her. "Somewhere familiar, warm...the place I call home."

"I don't want you to leave me," I croaked.

"I don't want to leave, either. But God will look after me."

Smiling, I traced the features of her face, pausing each time as I reached a different feature. When I got to her lips, I placed a gentle kiss upon them, humming a tune Esme and I had stumbled upon during our cancer support sessions with other cancer patients. Slowly I began to sing it, albeit quietly into her ear.

"_It's been years since they told her about it__  
><em>_The darkness her body possessed__  
><em>_And the scars are still there in the mirror__  
><em>_Everyday that she gets herself dressed__  
><em>_Though the pain is miles and miles behind her__  
><em>_And the fear is now a docile beast__  
><em>_If you ask her why she is still running__  
><em>_She'll tell you it makes her complete."___

_"I run for hope__  
><em>_I run to feel__  
><em>_I run for the truth__  
><em>_For all that is real__  
><em>_I run for your mother, your sister, your wife__  
><em>_I run for you and me, my friend__  
><em>_I run for life!"_

Closing her eyes, Esme began to sing with me, her hand squeezing mine tightly. And as we sang, I realised painfully, just how well our voices melted together. In barely three months, maybe longer, maybe shorter, this would never happen again.__

_"It's a blur since they told me about it__  
><em>_How the darkness had taken its toll__  
><em>_And they cut into my skin and they cut into my body__  
><em>_But they will never get a piece of my soul__  
><em>_And now I'm still learning the lesson__  
><em>_To awake when I hear the call__  
><em>_And if you ask me why I am still running__  
><em>_I'll tell you I run for us all."__  
><em> 

"_I run for hope__  
><em>_I run to feel__  
><em>_I run for the truth__  
><em>_For all that is real__  
><em>_I run for your mother your sister your wife__  
><em>_I run for you and me my friend__  
><em>_I run for life!"___

_"And someday if they tell you about it__  
><em>_If the darkness knocks on your door__  
><em>_Remember her remember me__  
><em>_We will be running as we have before__  
><em>_Running for answers__  
><em>_Running for more."__  
><em> 

Hooking my arm under Esme's knees, I lifted her from the chair and laid with her on our bed, my arm wrapped protectively around her.

At our wedding, I vowed not to let any harm come to her, but here I was now, clinging to my wife as she fought an internal battle I couldn't cure.

Not letting me stop, Esme pushed on singing quietly, her hands tracing down my chest before linking her hands together with mine again._  
><em> 

"_I run for hope__  
><em>_I run to feel__  
><em>_I run for the truth__  
><em>_For all that is real__  
><em>_I run for your mother, your sister, your wife__  
><em>_I run for you and me my friend__  
><em>_I run for hope__  
><em>_I run to feel__  
><em>_I run for the truth__  
><em>_For all that is real__  
><em>_I run for your mother your sister, your daughter, your wife__  
><em>_For you and me my friend__  
><em>_I run for life!"___

_"I run for your mother your sister your wife__  
><em>_I run for you and me my friend__  
><em>_I run for life!"_

Esme allowed a single tear to fall from her eye, but brushed it away as quickly as it came, kssing my cheek lightly, as if I would break.

"I want you to fight for me after I'm gone, Carlisle."

Stroking her hair, I nodded. "Always, my beloved."

"And you'll be with me when I go?"

I gulped painfully, but assured her, "With all my heart, I promise I'll be holding you as you enter the kingdom of heaven."

A content look rested on her face, and she finished, finally, "I love you so much, Carlisle."

"I love you too."

Esme closed her eyes as she succumbed to sleep. Kissing her forehead, I eased myself out from beneath her, undressing her and placing her nightgown over her bony, bruised body. Pulling the sheets back, I placed a sleeping wife under the covers, tucking her in. I took my place next to her, now making the most of the time we had left.

**A/N – I read a fic about this recently, and I already had this seed planted in my mind. It's sad, and slightly sombre, but I hope I've done a good job with this by emitting the right emotions.**

**Please Review.**

**Thanks, Katie1995.**


	2. I'm Not Brave

**(A/N – I do not own the characters in or**_**Twilight**___**in any way, all rights are reserved to Stephanie Meyers.)**

**I'm Not Brave**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

"_Mrs. Cullen?" I stopped playing with my hands when the nurse said my name. Looking up, I nodded at her, and she smiled back. "If you would like to follow me this way?"_

_Nodding again, I picked my bag up, chucking it over my shoulder, before following the nurse down the grey and white corridors of Seattle's largest and most distinguished hospital. I couldn't breathe for the severity of my being here, and the walls of the corridors seemed to be getting surprisingly closer together the further I walked._

"_Dr. Benson is in here, Mrs. Platt."_

_I forced my hand to rest on the handle, ignoring how violently it was shaking._

"_Are you alright, Mrs. Cullen?"_

_A soft hand was placed on my shoulder, knocking me out of my dazed state. "Sorry, I'm fine. Thank you."_

_The nurse shot me a concerned look, but I smiled kindly and opened my Doctor's office door._

_It was dark when I entered, but I knew it was the way Dr. Benson liked his office. The only light that was allowed in during the day was the natural light from the windows, only when he really had to, did he turn the lamps on._

"_Ah, Mrs. Cullen," Dr. Benson greeted. "Here we are again." He offered the seat opposite him._

_I breathed out, placing my hat I was wearing on the cloak hanger situated beside the door, my coat next. Today, I hadn't bothered to wear my specially made wig; instead, I had come completely bare as the woman I had become._

"_How are you today, Esme?"_

_Taking the seat, I sat down, silence following my actions for a few moments before I answered. "I'm as good as I can be."_

"_Understood."_

_I watched intently as my doctor poured us both a glass of water. My nerves seemed to calm as I watched the water swirl and bubbles rise to the surface before fading again. Dr. Benson leaned back in his chair, linking his hands together and placing his reading glasses on the table._

"_Esme, I'm afraid it isn't good news," he finally admitted._

"_But it can still be treated?" I asked despite my distaste for the chemo and radiotherapy I had been receiving._

_The medical expert sighed, his fingers closing together, tightly. "Esme, will you come with me a moment?"_

_The sickness returned and my stomach fell. However, I got up and followed his lead into a smaller, but brightly lit room. Scans of all sorts were pinned to the light boards; most of them were CAT scans._

"_Esme, you see this here?"_

_Dr. Benson was pointing at a scan I presumed was mine. The image didn't make any sense to me, though._

"_You see this white area, Esme?"_

_My eyes followed the doctor's finger closely as he circled the white area in the scan._

"_Yes," I whispered, hoarsely. _

"_I don't want to be telling you this, Esme, but-_

"_But it's another tumour, isn't it?"_

_Frowning, he replied, "Yes."_

_Tears formed in my eyes, but I blinked them away. "Is it cancerous?"_

"_It's most likely."_

_A tear fell down my cheek which was quickly brushed away. "But you don't know for sure?"_

"_We would have to take a sample and test for it, of course."_

_Another tear fell, and yet again I brushed it away._

"_Mrs. Platt," Dr. Benson began, gently, "It is alright to cry."_

_He offered me a tissue, which of course was not enough to stem the tears that now fell. I could only picture my appearance; mascara would be blurred, lining my face. My foundation streaked, as the salty tears removed the make-up I had applied this morning._

"_Here." Placing a hand on the small of my back, my doctor led us back to his study, pulling the chair out for me._

"_What are my options?" I croaked. My throat now was completely parched._

_Leaning back again, he kept his poker face on. "We can still treat you with the chemotherapy and radiotherapy. But, of course, it's entirely your decision."_

"_Anything else?"_

"_Esme, the cancer has already spread from your breast to your lungs. I think the tumour on your brain is cancerous. I'm sorry."_

_Running my hand over my face, I sniffed. "Thank you, Doctor. Benson."_

"_I'll see you again next week then, yes?"_

"_Yes," I responded, my body still in shock. "Thank you for your time."_

_I pushed myself up, but he grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. "You're very brave."_

"_I'm not brave," I replied, quietly. "I'm a fighter."_

The dream ended abruptly and I woke up covered in sweat, staring blankly up at the ceiling. I remembered the operation they performed and the devastating news that the tumour was indeed cancerous. But Carlisle's hope never faded, even now.

My Husband's arm was around me, but he was still asleep. A smile rested on my lips as I stroked my sleeping partner's hair. He snorted slightly, but didn't wake. How I loved those little traits of his.

The clock from downstairs chimed nine times, causing me to realise I had overslept. Sudden panic whizzed through my veins before I realised that it was a Saturday. I eased myself out from Carlisle's arms, realising as I stood that he was still dressed from head to toe. Even his shoes were still on.

"Oh, baby," I cooed, kissing his cheek. "I love you."

A smile fleeted across his lips, but being the deep sleeper he is, he didn't wake.

I got dressed quickly, ignoring to the best of my ability, the bruises that littered my thin body. I washed what hair I had left, letting it dry naturally. It didn't matter though. I knew exactly what I was going to do.

I left my husband sleeping, unsure with the amount of sleep he had received these last few months. Carlisle deserved peace of mind, and in this moment, I knew that was what he was getting.

I poked my head into each of my children's rooms timidly with every level I descended. Edward was asleep against his piano. Sheet music was scattered everywhere and the piano lid was still open. Laughing softly, I continued to Alice's room. All I could see was her spiky hair sticking messily out from underneath her duvet. That was my Alice, original in everything she did.

Walking on, I got to Jasper's room, my youngest child. School work was piled neatly up on his stationary desk, his hair splayed messily around his head as he slept. A light sleeper was Jasper. Like me, really. Rosalie, on the other hand, was sleeping like a baby when I got to her room. It was unusual for her to completely submerge herself underneath her covers, but I guess the recent events had probably caused her to go overtime. My second oldest daughter wasn't one to show her emotions.

Emmett's room was last. My efforts in telling him to tidy it were futile. Clothes were scattered around the floor, his prized baseball shirt hung neatly on the back of his chair. His black curly hair, inherited from my pervious husband, Charles, looked liked it hadn't been brushed for days.

Oh, how I loved my children. All of them completely diverse in character yet united in the ferocity of love they shared for our family.

My mind rested as I watched my children sleep, allowing me to continue downstairs. I didn't have breakfast, just a quick coffee as I rushed to get out of the house. However, I was stopped by the fact I couldn't find my car keys.

"Come on," I muttered to myself. "Where did I put you?"

"Looking for these," a familiar voice called from behind me, a slight joking tone in her voice.

"Rosalie, I thought you were asleep, darling."

Offering me her hand, she pulled me up. "You adopted me, Esme. You should know I'm good at deceiving people."

I embraced her tightly, breathing her in as I rocked us on the spot.

"What was that for?"

"You never know how much time we have left."

Rosalie cleared her throat. "Well then, let's get going."

"We're going to the hair salon," I blurted out without thinking. "Come with me?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Grinning, she grabbed my hand. "I think I know what you're going to do mum. I admire you for that."

**~XoX~**

"You want to what?" Spluttered my hairdresser.

I smiled at her expression, repeating myself. "I want to shave it all off."

"But-

"But it's the only thing I have control of now."

The woman, Rebecca, flickered her eyes between my daughter and me. "F-fine," she finished, the comb in her hand now useless with the type of cut I wanted.

"You're sure?" Rebecca continued, plugging the shaver in.

"I'm positive."And I watched with dignity as my curls fell to the floor. I smiled brightly as they continued to fall, gasping when she finished, at my appearance.

"I asked you-

"No," I cut off, "I absolutely love it!"

Rosalie nodded keenly in agreement, her smile as wide as mine.

"Thank you for doing this, Rebecca," Rosalie finally said to her best friend. "It was a hard decision, but I know mum wanted it."

"Anytime."

Paying her, we left to face the future back home. It was now ten-thirty, and I knew the household would be buzzing when we arrived home.

"You ready to show, Carlisle?"

I laughed like a teenager who had done something naughty. "You bet I am."

Swiftly making our way back home, both Rosalie and I were met by my husband. Worry was sketched across his features until he caught my eye in the car pulling up into the garage. I stepped out, only to be smothered by my partner.

"You gave me a heart attack when I woke up!" Carlisle joked, but gasped, nonetheless.

"I was making a change."

"I can see." Carlisle's hands stroked my now bald head, his kisses following the trail his hand made. "You look beautiful, my darling."

"I try my best."

Lifting me off my feet, he span me round, but although I knew today was the happiest I'd ever been I knew that this was the beginning of the end.

However, today it didn't matter. Today it was all about release and the people I loved.

**A/N – This is the second to last chapter I'll be posting. I want to make this story short in chapters because I don't think it would be as effective as a long story.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If so, Please Review!**

**Thanks, Katie1995.**


	3. Time to Say Goodbye

**(A/N – I do not own the characters in or**_**Twilight**___**in any way, all rights are reserved to Stephanie Meyers.)**

**Time to Say Goodbye**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.****(ALL HUMAN!)**

We had done a lot in two months, me and Esme – us and our family. As a couple, we had renewed our vows and had visited Isle Esme one final time together. As a family, Esme watched as Emmett turned twenty-one and graduated from College with qualifications in a teacher's degree for sport and a promising scholarship for an American football team.

She had been so proud of him. So proud, that the man that was his abusive father couldn't and didn't affect her son what so ever. Proud, that her eldest son had become someone in life – kind, gentle and loving. Proud, she so often said, that Emmett had become like me.

But two months went by in a flash, much to mine and my children's disbelief, and although Esme had tried to stay strong during those two months, her health had failed her, and by the end of the second month, my wife had to resort to using a wheel chair.

Esme hated it.

"I wish I could be stronger," Esme sighed, resting her head in her hands, looking out of the living room windows, and into the garden outside.

Shaking my head, I took my place next to her, my arms wrapping around her fragile frame. "You are strong, Esme Sometimes, I think you try too hard."

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, but she closed her eyes, leaning into me. "Trying too hard, dear husband, is better than giving up completely," Esme whispered back.

I shifted my wait to make us both more comfortable. "I admire you, really, I just don't want you wearing yourself out."

With my wife's eyes still closed, she replied, clutching my hand in hers. "I won't."

That was two months ago.

By the start of the third, and what doctors declared as Esme's final month, pain began to plague her. Before, it was bearable. But now, now she would moan in pain when it got too much to bear. Sometimes, Esme would cry out because of it. However, when it was that bad, she would never cry out in the presence of our children. Only when they were out of the house did she let the pain shine through. I stayed with her, through every painful moment, finally agreeing to let our bedroom become her room.

I stayed in the guest room, but half the time I slept by my wife's side in the arm chair beside our marital bed, now turned hospital bed. IV's were put up around the room to keep Esme hydrated. A morphine pump given to my wife to reduce her suffering.

In the day, when she was far more alert, did she seem to be able to control the pain. Headaches were what she suffered from most. And it broke my heart to see her suffering in silence. Esme didn't want me to fuss, to worry, but I did, but only in fear alone. Even though I was a doctor, calm in everything I did, this had caused me to become undone.

I knew, and however much I hated it, I knew my wife was fading. Slowly, she was coming to the end. In a way, I was slightly relieved, but pained, nonetheless. No more would she be in pain, instead she would be with our creator, bathing in the sites of heaven.

And I was sure she'd go to heaven.

"Carlisle?" I was sat at the window, my eyes trained on the soft rustling of the leaves when my wife whispered my name.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw a ghost of the woman Esme used to be. "Yes, darling?"

She smiled as I said that, patting the mattress next to her. "Sit with me?"

I pushed myself away with the windowpane, stretching as I stood before sitting next to my other half, playing with the hair that had grown back due to the ceased treatment of chemo and radiotherapy. I kissed her hair, holding her the best I could through the tubes and wires now attached to her already assaulted body.

We sat in a comfortable silence before Esme broke it again, twirling my hair between my fingers as she did.

"Carlisle, how long do you think I have left?"

Sucking in a short breath, my hold tightened around her. "Esme-

"Please," she retorted, quickly, her hand clenching around mine. "Honestly."

"I don't know," I lied, quickly.

Scoffing, Esme stroked my cheek before it weakly fell back down to her side again. "You're a doctor, Carlisle. You're advanced, specialised. You work in the special care units for crying out loud!" My wife paused and sighed, looking at me with sad eyes. "Please, tell me, truthfully."

I kissed her head again before replying. "A few more weeks at most."

Her eyelids fluttered closed for a moment before she gulped, and locked her green eyes with my greyish blue eyes.

"Thank you." A smile fleeted across her face, but her eyes betrayed her.

"Don't be scared of the unknown," I breathed into her ear.

"Because death is just the next great adventure," she finished.

But of course, a few weeks was just another month, and now, as the four month began to die, my wife vanquished with it.

It was the last week of January. Emmett had started University and Edward and Alice were in their senior year at high school, Rosalie a year below and Jasper a year below her. Exams were taking place, important exams, but our family now, was far too important, especially when it was our last week as a complete family.

Our children watched from the sidelines as their mother began to fall in and out of consciousness. When Esme was alert, precious moments were spent together, that was until, those precious moments had to end.

I knew it was time to say goodbye today. Most of the day, Esme was constantly on the edge of sleep. Kissing her forehead, I made my way round the house, finally finding my children in the living room, sat exactly the same way they were when Esme had admitted that her cancer was terminal.

"Emmett, Alice," I whispered, "Rosalie, Jasper." I held their attention, all except Edward's. "Edward," I finished, our eyes locking.

My teenagers stared at me, their eyes watering.

"I think it's time."

Rosalie nodded slowly, moving first out of the room, her feet dragging her up the stairs. My other children followed, all except Alice.

"Alice?"

My oldest daughter had tears streaming down her face, her eyes distant. "I can't do this."

I knelt down beside her, taking one of her delicate hands in mine, rubbing the back of her hand with my thumb.

"Alice, your mother needs you, now. You're brave, strong."

"But by the next couples of hours, she won't need me anymore, dad. She'll be gone!"

Alice's eyes, so like her mother's penetrated my soul. Tears landed on her lap, but she kept her gaze on me.

"Come with me?" I cupped her face in my hands, placing a kiss on her button nose.

"Of course."

We ascended the stairs hand in hand, our own fears slowly eating away at us. The bedroom door was open, the room softly lit with lamps. Esme's was propped up with pillows, one of her hands held tightly in that of Rosalie's.

"Mum, are you awake?"

My wife's head turned in the direction of Rosalie's voice as I took my position in the arm chair, only to be spotted by my wife's eyes.

"Hold me?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but I nodded, nonetheless, aware of what she wanted.

Softly lifting her forwards, I slid behind her, my eyes snaking across torso.

"I'm here," I reminded, running my hands through her caramel locks. "Always."

A smile rested upon her lips as I kissed her temple.

"Why is it I'm so cold?" My throat constricted, and my children were now crying freely as I cradled my wife in my arms for the last time.

"It it's January." But my reason was just to comfort my wife in her last moments.

"And why am I so sleepy, Carlisle?" My name rolled off her tongue and I cherished how it sounded when she said it.

"I am too, my beloved." I stroked her cheek, trying desperately to keep my own tears from falling. "But you can't sleep yet."

"Why?"

"Just keep talking to me, please?"

It was slight, but she nodded.

"Do you remember our first kiss?" Another smile fleeted across her lips before melting away again.

"How could I forget?"

"And our wedding day?"

"The best day of my life, darling."

I held her tighter in my arms, tears now falling down my cheeks. Esme's eyes were half open and half closed, but she was still there.

"And our children's births?"

"All of them," she whispered in reply. "I remember all of them."

Our children looked at each other, a sad smile on their faces.

"I love them all so much."

"We love you too," Alice fervently replied, Emmett holding her into him as her body shook with sobs.

As each minute passed, Esme began to lose concentration, burying her head into my chest, I kissed her cheek.

"Carlisle," she mumbled, her words now slurring. "Please can I sleep?"

I choked back a sob, kissing her again, every where I could reach. "Yes, my darling, Esme."

A peaceful smile remained on her lips as sleep enveloped her in its arms. My children took their seats in various places around the room, one by one, falling asleep.

I was the last person to fall into a slumber. My dreams were haunted with the cold reality of Esme no longer with me. And when I woke in the morning, it was early, the light hitting the two figures on the bed.

I was still cradling, my Esme, but she no longer needed to warmth I gave to her.

My Esme, was gone. The night took her away but left me behind.

**A/N – This is my last chapter. (I have ideas for another chapter, but don't know whether I should do it or not.)**

**Anyway, I realise this is very emotional, I just hope I showed the emotions properly. **

**Please Review. Thank you, Katie1995.**


	4. Life Goes On

**(A/N – I do not own the characters in or**_**Twilight**___**in any way, all rights are reserved to Stephanie Meyers.)**

**Life Goes On**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.****(ALL HUMAN!)**

I didn't want my children to wake up the next morning. I didn't want to see their faces, hear their grief, but there was nothing that could stop that from happening. However, when it did happen, I wasn't, nor could I have been, prepared for such overwhelming pain.

"Mum's gone isn't she?" Edward was the first to wake up, his hair dishevelled and his eyes tired.

I gulped, ignoring the lump forming in my throat. "Yes," I whispered, holding Esme tighter, her skin now like ice against my warm body.

"When did she go?" Edward put a hand over my linked hands, tears now streaming down his face.

"I don't know," I admitted, "In her sleep, like she wanted to, surrounded by all of her family."

I heard a faint murmur from the other side of the room as Emmett woke up, closely followed by Alice. As I expected, my oldest daughter burst into uncontrollable tears, Emmett although sat in shock, still there to comfort her.

Rosalie was next to wake up from her slumber. Her eyes were heavy with sleep, but understanding shone in her violet orbs. Jasper, aware now of the disturbance, woke next. His eyes, so like that of his sister's, flitted across the room, resting upon our two figures upon the bed. Surprisingly, he was the first, next to Edward, to walk towards us. Tears were not falling; instead his eyes almost seemed dead.

"You did all you could, father," Jasper whispered, his hair falling over half his face. "I know you did."

His words only caused my tears to fall thicker, and soon enough, I couldn't breathe. Edward, noticing my distress squeezed my shoulder.

"Do you want me to-

I cut him off quickly, knowing what he would say. "Yes."

Nodding curtly, he waited patiently as I slid from underneath my wife to a standing position. I didn't feel like me. I wasn't me. I was a man, a person now walking this world without reason, without hope. I was a body walking this earth unfeeling, numb.

Rosalie walked up behind me. "I'll help, Edward," she murmured into my ear. I nodded again, my throat dry.

Ring the hospital. That was all I had to do. But I couldn't. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. This invisible weight kept me suspended in darkness, and my only light had diminished into nothing. So who now, would help me find my way?

"Dad?" I could hear Alice's voice, yet I struggled to see her. "Dad," she repeated, grabbing my shoulders surprisingly firmly in her small hands.

"I have to ring the hospital."

My voice was barely audible to my own ears, and in a dazed state, I walked down the flights of stairs, blind to the house's décor Esme had so gladly designed. Everything revolved around her in some way, and now, I couldn't bear it.

Walking hastily past the phone, I walked outside and into the freezing rain, an anguished scream leaving my chest. Falling to my knees, I let the forestation make me become invisible to prying eyes. My trousers became drenched in the puddle beneath me, the rain imitating its invention as it soaked through my flimsy shirt's material and absorbed into my skin. I didn't care about anyone anymore. No-one knew how I was feeling, no-one. My children maybe, but not one-hundred percent.

My wife, Esme, she was part of me. I lived for her, and she lived for me, but now, I had no-one to live for! I was a puzzle, once complete, now unfinished. I loved her with every fibre of my being, with every breath of my body.

And now, I was no-one.

"Dad, come inside." Emmett's figure loomed over me as I shook with sobs, sobs so hard that I was slowly making myself sick.

"I c-can't go b-back in there," I hiccupped.

Lifting me to my feet, Emmett held me in his arms, hugging me to him. I could feel as his own tears fell on my hair.

"I rang the hospital for you, dad. They're coming here soon, around half an hour. Edward and Rosalie have finished washing and dressing... Mum." The last word came out in a whisper as he let me go again.

A moment of silence followed before he sighed, his hands running through his curly black hair.

"Mum needs you now, she needs us too. Please, dad. For us?"

Rain drops fell from Emmett's nose and the tips of my hair as we made our way back inside.

Sure enough, hospital porters came to take Esme away, and the house fell into a deadly silence, as if its occupants had just...disappeared. And again, I felt alone, broken.

**~ XoX ~**

The funeral passed in a blur of colour. Yes, colour. It was Esme's last wish, that no-one wear black at her wedding. Instead, she made us all dress in different colours, like the rainbow.

I was still in denial, although the clutches of grief had captured me now and then. I wasn't until the vicar said the final words of "we commit her body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes and dust to dust," and I threw my handful of dirt upon my late wife's coffin, along with a white Lily, did the grief kick in.

I knew then I was far from acceptance.

A week after Esme's funeral, I went back to visit, scared I couldn't make it close enough to say hello and talk to her. However, I made it down the small path and knelt silently at her grave, fresh flowers arranged neatly in a bouquet. I tried to stay composed, but with grief so raw, it was easier said then done.

"Excuse me, sir?"

A woman's voice piped up from behind me as I cut the stems down and placed the flowers colour coded in the vase. Slowly, I let myself turn around to meet a woman with brunette curls that fell down to her shoulders. Her eyes, so much like Esme's stayed traced on my face, making it hard to turn away.

"Yes, madam?"

She wrung her hands nervously together, but continued. "I don't want you to feel as if I'm intruding, but you dropped this. I thought you would like it back." A kind smile rested on her lips as she held out a family photo towards my shaking hand.

"Thank you and you're not intruding at all, Mrs..." I paused and she flushed.

"Masen, Elizabeth Masen."

"Carlisle Cullen."

The wind whispered through the trees and she wrapped her scarf around her neck.

"She was only fort-six," I blurted out to my own astonishment. "And now she's gone." I traced Esme's face in the picture, tears swimming in my eyes.

A hand was put on my shoulder, gently, and she replied. "I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen."

A bittersweet smile passed my lips. "You have nothing to apologise for. It's God's fault."

Sighing, she knelt down next to me. "I hated god, too, you know?"

Hanging my head, the first tear fell.

"He took my husband away from me. He too was only young. Forty-seven, yes, far too young."

"I'm sorry," I replied.

"You have nothing to apologise for," Mrs. Masen copied. "Remember that, Mr. Cullen. It wasn't your fault this happened."

This woman I had barely met five minutes ago squeezed my shoulder, erected herself and wrapped a pink scarf around her neck.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"We're here to help one another, look after each other. Stewards, as God puts it."

And then just like that, she was gone, and I was alone with, Esme, again, finally realising that life has to go on.

**A/N – I really wanted to round this short story off, so here we go, the final chapter.**

**If you enjoyed? (I don't know if that's the right term to use...) Please Review.**

**Thanks, Katie1995.**

**P.S. Happy New Year! :)**


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